I wonder what would happen if I knew who I was?
I wonder what would happen if I knew my body?
What if I told you I didn't feel quite myself
from your point of view
How do we teach developing humans about their sexual bodies? Their sensual bodies? Their expressive bodies?
I am confused when I
want to be a pretty boy
or a handsome girl
And can't feel full enough as either or even a balance between the two. Why is that?
When I look at him do I want to be him or be with him?
When I look at her do I want to be with her or be like her?
When I see them do I admire or desire? Who are they and how can I be like them?
so I can be with him
so he will want to be with me
so she will want to look nice for him
so I can find a place to just BE
together and apart
all of them
they all seem to know but do they
so I can't quite say... or feel.
That's okay. On the other side I'll see, and say, and feel.
Just to know: I'm confused too.
I'm confused to be beautiful.
I'm confused to feel confident.
I'm confused when I don't.
Maybe that's the magic... in the liminal place of confusion. Where my mind is a fusion. A flower. Equal possession. Expression. Connection. I suppose this is all just a process of re-inhabiting the space between the two because you deserve to be more than one, more than two but to feel what it's like to be it all. Why do I feel so confused? Where in gender roles and body conformities do we teach confusion, loss, and abandonment from our own self-knowing?